Friendship: a state of mutual trust and support, the state of being friends
Friends: a person whom one knows and has a bond of mutual affection with
When I was growing up, and still to this day, my parents liked to call me a “social butterfly.” They said that I was never alone and that I was always with people. They said that when I was with other people or my closest friends, that I always had a giant smile on my face. They could tell that being with my close friends was good for my soul. They were right. Except that being with my friends is more than just good for my soul, its a way that I find “rest” and joy.
It is true, in fact, that friends are really important to us all. They are especially important to us when we are young adolescents growing up and learning new things, including impacting us in the development of key social skills that we will need in adulthood. They are often the reason for everything that the teen does.
Now listen to this . . .
When it comes to our relationships, we are greatly impacted and influenced by those around us. Being around friends all of the time could be a good thing or it could be a bad thing. If you hang around the type of friends all of the time who lift you up, encourage you, and bring out the best in you, then of course you are going to reciprocate those actions and be that way back. If you are around friends who are into illegal things, hurt you, leave you out, or pressure you, then you may end up being involved in the “dirty mess” of that and not find it encouraging or uplifting to be around them.
The way that we interact with and approach our friends is different all around the world. It may just depend on the culture that you are from . . .
For an example, it was found that “some women in the Andalusian region of Spain bypassed explicit prohibitions against forming friendships. They established voluntary and personalized non-kin bonds under the guise of interaction required by their domestic chores.” In other words, they were exclusive in choosing relationships based on their household duties. It was the way they connected to others. It is certainly not really that way in the United States…. (I can even testify to that!)
Here is another fun fact for ya, John Rohn famously stated that “you are the average of the FIVE people that you spend the most time with.” Isn’t that cool?
I believe every bit of what John Rohn said. I believe it because I have witnessed it and I believe it because I am a testament to that statistic being true!
I say all of this about friendships because I want us to think about who we surround ourselves with and what that means for each of our lives.
Have you watched your actions and how they may reflect who you hang around? Do you believe that you really are a makeup of the five people that you spend the most time with?
Spend some time thinking about that and stay tuned for my next post!
uhl, s. (1991). “forbidden friends: cultural veils of female friendships in andalusia.” american ethologist 18:90–105.
Groth, Aimee. “You’re The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With.” Business Insider. Business Insider, Inc, 24 July 2012. Web. 05 Oct. 2016.